He Knows!

It’s funny how the Lord knows you better than you know yourself. I remember my very first break up of a relationship I had in high school. I had the typical school girl crushes on boys however in my senior year I fell in love. I was as in love as a young teen could be. I certainly can look back on it now and see that it would not be my definition of love today, but at that time, I was in love.

Before we started dating, I was making arrangements to go to college in another state. I was excited about going but at the same time, I did not want to be separated. When it came time for school to start I left, though with mixed feelings. I attended college for about two months and then returned home for a weekend visit. When I arrived, there were signs that he was cheating, but my heart was unwilling to accept it. Naturally every time I asked him about it, he denied it and told me to “stop tripping.” I realize now that he was messing with my head. I went back to school, and when I returned a few months later, the signs were even larger.

Finally, after completing one semester of school and not wanting my relationship to end, I made a decision not to return. In my stupidity I thought; what better way to maintain my relationship than to stay at home and watch him like a hawk. My parents were devastated. Here I was at 19 years old, and I had little prospects for the future. After being in town for about six months, I caught him red-handed with the young woman he was having an affair. I felt stupid, naïve, embarrassed, and heartbroken. I couldn’t bear to talk about it, and I couldn’t bear to see him. I hid out in my old bedroom at my parent’s house too emotionally weak and distraught to move forward. I eventually got a job working in a factory, and I hated every second. I was 19 years old, and I was going to work in a factory and coming home smelling like grease. What was I going to do? My heart was sick.

Then one night I was jolted awake at 2 o’clock in the morning. I went from a deep sleep to sitting straight up in the bed. I suddenly knew that what I had to do was to join the military. A piece came over me from head to toe. I hadn’t thought about the military. I didn’t know anyone who had joined let alone any women. I realize now that the Lord had spoken to me. He knew I needed to heal, and he knew that I couldn’t do it when I was faced with the problem every day. I was too young and too weak to deal with it. I had little dating experience, and I was carrying around this guilt that the entire situation was my fault because I left for college.

All at once at 2 o’clock in the morning, he gave me the knowledge I needed to change my life. It was as if in one breath he blew it all into my body, my mind, and my spirit. All I had to do was walk it out. It was as if he orchestrated every step. Like a remote-controlled robot, I grabbed the phone book and found where the recruitment offices were located and when they opened. I sat up in bed from 2 o’clock until 8:30 A.M; and then drove to the recruitment stations. He told me which ones to go to, and what questions to ask. He showed me which branch to join, and he gave me the right words to say to my parents. He knew I needed to develop the life skills to survive in this world as a single woman. Yes, I do believe he knew at that time that I would remain single. Approximately ten days later, I was in uniform. Just as he knew, I would be. He knew it all!

Blessings,

Sandra

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